
![CANCELLED](/assets/images/blog/2022/04/09/00-cancelled.png)

## I can't believe this hasn't been said before

There is real discrimination in this world. I feel ashamed that I didn't realise this sooner but a couple of days ago
I had an epiphany whilst stood in my kitchen. I was looking at kitchen scissors and I found 3 pairs. I realised that each
pair of was designed and produced exclusively for right-handed people. It turns out you have to make a special concerted
effort if you want to find scissors that are suitable for use by the forgotten left-handed people. 

In the year of our lord 2022 how can this be? 

It's a disgrace! We need to fight for change. We cannot continue to allow the right to be the default in the world.
Too much damage has been done already by these right-handed people. Just look at these monsters.

#### Hitler 

Responsible for between 12 and 70 million deaths.

#### Stalin

Responsible for tens of millions of deaths.

#### Donald Trump 

I'm sure everyone from the left agrees this man is literally the Devil. 

#### Jimmy Savile

Almost as bad as Donald Trump.

These are the people that this society thinks we should cater for by default?

To be honest I don't think cancelling right is going far enough. Whilst we are at it let's cancel the centrists as well. 
These people might be even more dangerous than the right. These people don't pick a side. They blend in and infiltrate groups
on both the left and the right. These people enjoy a lifetime of extreme privilege. We cannot continue to ignore it. 
It has to stop. It's not going to be easy, these people hide it well. They use either hand at any time to pretend 
they are just like you and share your ideals. It's a lie. Take a close look around some of you might have some in your 
friends group right now! 

Here's a selection of these sneaky Ambidextrous people. 

#### Maria Sharapova 

Very successful, very gorgeous Tennis superstar. She is Russian though, so obviously she's cancelled now.

#### Rafael Nadal

"The king of Clay". Another one of the most successful Tennis players ever. Winner of 14 Grand Slam Singles titles. 
This scumbag writes with his right hand and plays tennis with his left. You probably didn't even know.
What world is this kind of unchecked privilege allowed?!

#### Cristiano Ronaldo

Arguably the greatest footballer of all time. Can kick a football equally well with either foot. Puts his own records 
above his team-mates - Extremely Selfish. Such behaviour cannot be allowed in the future societies that we are building.

#### Mahatma Gandhi

Advocated Ahimsa (non-violence) all his life. This approach has had it's time. We need people willing to fight, loot and
burn down entire cities. Destroy inequality wherever it exists!

#### Ronald Reagan

The most hated US president of all time. 

#### Leonardo da Vinci

Famous for many things; painting, sculptures, architecture. A keen Scientist and Engineer but did you know he also 
invented the sniper rifle! - Kept that quiet...Coward

As you can see both the right and the centrists are problematic. The must be cancelled. The time is now! 

Still not convinced? Look at this list of glorious left-handed heroes.

#### Angelina Jolie 

Selfless humanitarian, adopts african children. Simply an Angel.

#### Babe Ruth

Americas favourite baseball player. 

#### Ben Stiller

2 words...Blue Steel.

#### Bruce Willis

Star of the world's favourite Christmas Movies. Yippee Ki Yay!

#### Eminem 

Arguably the greatest rapper alive today. Uses his platform and privilege to take swipes at power. 
That Trump Cypher at the BET Awards...World changing stuff for sure.

#### Gordon Ramsey 

Best Chef in the world. Revered around the world for his straight talking, no nonsense approach.

#### Hugh Jackman

Literally invincible. 

#### James Cameron

This man quite literally raised the bar.

#### Jimi Hendrix

Greatest guitar player ever. Black as well. Bonus points.

#### John McEnroe

Famously cool, calm and collected tennis super-star.

#### Judy Garland

THE original LGBTQA+ icon. A hero. 

#### Keanu Reeves

The nicest man alive in the world today. Maybe all-time. 

#### M.C. Escher

You won't find one person in the Northern Quarter that does not appreciate the fine work of this man. 

#### Mark Hamill 

An actual Jedi. 

#### Matt Groening 

A man so magical that he animates the future. He decides the lives and future of literally every human being on earth! 

#### Morgan Freeman

Whatever I write here. You're reading it in his voice aren't you....because he has the greatest voice on TV.

#### Nikola Tesla

This man essentially made this digital cancel culture world that we live in possible when he invented electricity. If 
only he had Twitter he could have cancelled that disgusting thief Thomas Edison.

#### Rik Mayall 

Legend.

#### Uri Geller

Israeli bender of spoons. We do love Israel.

#### Will Ferrell

He's kind of a big deal.

#### Obama 

This ones a bit controversial. Whilst he may have dropped bombs 365 days a year for 8 consecutive years. We have to 
remember that he was left-handed and a very well-trained orator, so I think all is forgiven! 

I could go on, there are many more left-handed heroes out there but you get the point. LEFT = BEST. It's the only choice
if we ever want world peace and a fair society. 

I know a lot of you will be right-handed right now but don't despair. If you now see the error of your ways and truly 
hate yourself and want to do better there is hope. You will need to publicly self flagellate to prove your commitment to 
the cause but if you pass the test we will allow you to transition. Surgery is optional, we would obviously prefer you 
to get the op and remove that evil right hand, but it's completely up to you. You are permitted to self identify as 
left as soon as you like. Many people do this and never get the op. That's perfectly OK. Remember: A self-identifying 
trans-left is still a left. We are proud to be inclusive to all the left no matter what your background.

I know this has been a long post, but I did it for anyone out there that has been suffering in silence. Hope it helps. If 
it helps just one person I have done my job. 

Please share this post and let me know if you want to arrange a Go Fund Me to help the cause! I wouldn't want to have 
to spend my own money.

CANCEL THE RIGHT!

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